If you can - Do

The problem with doing is you loose self...and after a while you wonder if you're using others pain and road to recovery.

I will simply reply with No.

One of the biggest things i hate is ongoing issues when the last motion was on me, and my heart falls into that category.

One of the biggest problems with the energy i bring into the room is that my own needs are left unchecked.

But as a former mentor told me, to be able to fully help others you sacrifice so much of yourself. I could lash out like i do from time to time at those who i emotionally help build up, simply because they are can not or will not help me.

I do lash out from time to time, but its usually for one of two reasons: A i am really upset with you but for some reason we arent addressing the issue or B - youre taking and taking

The key thing is you ALLOW such acts to transpire against you... so maybe i care too much.

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Seagrams pursuit... [part 1]

February 23, 2010, weeks of workshops all boil down to one night. In a crowed hotel room near the heart of Atlanta, many people gather, and a lot of things comes to light. For me, it was seeing the families of the 9 other guys I had gotten to know over the course of a few weeks. Now, before we look at this day lets go back to day one.

It starts with a rainy day in December. Now I have a theory about random things when you have something important to do.. that theory is that the more something is destined for you, the more the odds will be against you. Now, that is very open to interpretation, because due to the signs being against you doing something stupid or foolish..but I am referring to the positive so..

First off, before any major interview I go to my favorite barber and get a cut THAT day (if possible) I also give myself a nice shave, well I go to my barber and he’s closed..so I try to go to his house [he told me to] but the rain picks up nasty I opt to go to the interview. I arrive 10 mins early, but about 20 minutes before another person arrives (ahhh CPT..) I’m no. 3 on the list.

In the room, in my 3 piece with a nice thick shaved beard (I joke and say I am on my way to audition for a remake of planet of the apes while looking in the mirror. ((On a random note..I got a chicks number with that line that same day!...I digress)) The first two guys go ahead of me, and more come in. I am not the worse of the bunch…but I’m not in the upper tier like I want to be. So I prepare to be interviewed and the odds are clear, out of the 100 plus that showed, only 10 will make it, and I want to be in that 10.

On the phone, l was getting me some form of good words, though I was still nervous. (*) The interesting thing is that they sent last year’s winner to sort of poll the people in the room, I don’t fall for it..while some of the other guys flock over begging for hints. As my name is called I smile and “chuck the deuces” while walking into the hallway. My mentor, who has recommend me every step of the way reminds me that I have a mini fro, and a full beard, but I can still do it, and half of those dudes in the room can’t equal up to half of what I can do. I simply smile before getting rushed into the board room.

Out of the 19 seated, including 4 celebrities and the 4 core people I have to impress, they ask me about my life up until this point. About my resume [Which includes my business I had just started, but to get a lot of nods. I stuck to the script when it comes to interviews. “Don’t answer in less than 3 word answers, control your hand movements, scan the room for eye contact, keep jokes at a minimum and safe …blah blah blah you know” Then I leave.

My first trip is to the rest room, honestly, I wish I could see their score cards of my interview..I give myself a score of 89 but… So after that I leave and have a chance to chat with the guy that interviewed after me, after a quick conversation I find out that he came from Louisiana to be with his girl. This sticks out to me because its rare that stories of love exists like this, and how at the time I would’ve became him (well partially for that matter) the interesting thing was the other 9 guys that they picked.

the future is coming

This is a very deep and interesting photo to me.

For starters, its Norman Osburn digging his hands into the back of Tony Stark inthe old iron man armor. Norman is the "future" and Tony is the "past"

How that relates to the world of the living is really interesting, as the future is being built on the back of the past. This photo is a vivid example of said idea. It makes you think who will come out next on our backs.

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Lasting impact

The past is always a very interesting thing. Next to karma and the truth, life is almost never dull. The past is the fairest of the three things i mentioned, and like the recent surge of earth-friendly ways, you have to watch your footstep, weither its carbon, emotional spiritual or otherwise. This is too much SLM sooo lets get on to the story.

I had a visit from the past, an ex (oh the joy) - now my current dating trend for some reason or another is women who want real love but doesnt appreciate it until its too late. That vs the usual pr average man walking is heaven and earth but just follow me. Its been a little over 3 years and not much has changed,

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