What a crazy Sunday morning.
I woke up to Eddie Griffin's skit on Dr.Dre's 2001 album, which made me reflect on the upcoming brokenness of the next generation of youths, along with the hardships of living life and love. Then, I listen to the Sade feat. Jay-Z track, which is every bit worth the hype and buzz that everyone made it out to be.
I think I'll start with what all you live with, (actions)
At 27, counting backwards to 18 seems like Ive passed a few lifetimes in between. The woman I was dating...wow she's married now to my knowledge, but its crazy because of where I was at, and what I struggled with then vs now is a long trip. But to speed this up, cause I can, (and I think I will later on) spend an entire post of reviewing 18 year old me. There are a lot of things I have to live with, there are are friendships that have stood the test of time, and we've known each other for over 10 years, I think I have only a small group of enemies, unless people holding grudges from '04 but I digress...
One of my biggest fears is being contacted by a woman from my past saying I have a child. Its scary because there is no telling how your actions will impact this child's life and personality, plus it hurts when there are gaps in history with people you live. Even with some of my closer friends, of 9 + years, I'm the "newest member of the crew" or the 10th member of Wu Tang, it feels odd when they refer to things that predates me. But with a child, its no telling how my absence will affect him/her. I know people now, who holds strong grudges due to the period the father wasn't in their life, even after the father was sad that he wasn't there. I feel its a bit unfair, but its hard when you're dealing with a broken heart. So I always keep communications open for any woman I part ways with when it comes to love.
I think Nas said it best Deadbeat daddies/ I pray for you/ cause when those kids get get grown its too late for you/ cause you're old then you're getting sh*tted on"
I hope I can avoid that fate